If you too were wondering if they re-made Space Jam who would they cast in the current NBA to play the NBA stars, well I’m here and ready and willing to go into deep detail on the idea.
You have to start obviously with Lebron as the part Michael Jordan so smugly and nonchalantly played, even though in real life Lebron would likely take billions of dollars from Danny Devito and just joined the Monstars. Instead of Michael Jordan feeling pressure from retiring, we could have Lebron dealing with the aftermath of the Decision when everyone hated him. Devito would assume that no one on Earth liked Lebron and wouldn’t steal his talent (this is a stretch I get that). Bugs with a better eye for talent and who understands the overvalue of the idea of things like “clutch”, would go straight for Bron Bron.
(I should mention that since Lebron is the star, Kobe would in no way be involved in this project, much like how they ended up with Shawn Bradley and Muggsy Bogues as 2 of the 5 best players in the NBA)
This allows Jordan into the Larry Bird role especially since the biggest plot hole in the original is that Wayne Knight and Bill Murray can find their way to where the Toons live but Bird couldn’t. Or MJ wouldn’t call Bird up or tell Bugs to go get Bird when they got his shorts. Bird was already in the movie and 2 years removed from the dream team, and it’s a movie it’s not like he’s playing real basketball. This has literally bothered me every time I watched this movie (a lot of times). So in my re-make Bron goes to Jordan, brings him begrudgingly out of retirement (at least once muttering “I’m to old for this” and then getting cut off), and they play together. For at least a couple minutes
Wayne Knight quickly becomes Jonah Hill. Boom, thanks shitty adaptation of “Moneyball”. You’re welcome.
Bill Murray becomes Seth Rogen, because can’t you see Lebron playing golf with Seth Rogen just cause he could? Maybe? No. Whatever it’s my movie.
Alright the Monstars. Let’s get real.
Kevin Durant. No duh, it’s not a question number 2 to earth should be number 1 for the universe. Slips in just as Charles Barkley did. Plus it would be great if the girl who destroys KD in a pick-up game was his soon to be wife and WNBA player Monica Wright.
Pau Gasol. Because you need to have a big gangly white guy. Plus Pau’s the coolest guy anyway. Grantland just wrote an entire article about how great Pau is. All he ever wanted was to be a doctor and he’s too big to be a doctor. There’s a subplot for ya. This movie is getting DEEP.
Dwight Howard. I mean isn’t he just Patrick Ewing 2.0 already? Career wise at least. Personality wise for sure. Plus the hilarity that Danny Devito obviously didn’t watch last year’s Lakers, so LOTS of D’Antoni jokes, and it gives Lebron the mental edge.
And to really finish this bad boy perfectly I too will pick teammates, and I too will pick a small point guard and an uber athletic forward. But instead of the brilliant duo of Tyrone “Muggsy” Bogues and Larry “Grand Ma Ma” Johnson, I’ll go with Chris Paul and Blake Griffin. Nailed it.
So yeah, that’s the re-make or sequel of Space Jam no one needs. Lebron, Jordan, Bugs vs. the Monstars. Now the plothole is why Lebron never called Bosh or Wade, but whatever.
(I did not make that picture)
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